November 2007
11 posts
6 tags
Lard lad-o-matic
Okay, really, is this what we’ve come to? A fucking automatic doughnut machine!?!? Sweet greasy jesus! Look. I’m overweight, but let’s set some fucking limits, people. If you are seriously considering dropping $130 on this travesty, maybe you should consider using that money on a gym membership instead. Or use it to buy a gun and kill yourself. It’ll be quicker and the aftermath will still...
October 2007
4 posts
5 tags
Go fuck a bike.
Okay, so a guy in a Scottish hostel gets caught wearing nothing but a white t-shirt and, “…holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.” Okay, so far pretty normal for Scotland, right? (Hey, my last name’s McDowell, so fuck off.) The part I don’t get is that they’ve thrown this weirdo on a sex offender’s registry! This was an intimate moment between a pervert and...
3 tags
What?
Oh, my. No. Just no. Why’d she have to remove one shoe to take a dump? Why does it look like she’s trying to figure out what that smell is? What happened to her nose? Who taks a shit with a feather boa? Why’d she think we wanted to see this? What kind of record executive would approve a cover like this? What did the rejected covers look like? Who told her she was hot enough to use a...
3 tags
Born Secular, Baby!
The most encouraging part of this is that young people are showing strong numbers of atheists and agnostics. Hopefully this trend will hold and even increase. It would be nice to one day look back on these days with future generations who are blissfully ignorant of the pain inflicted on our species by the memes of religion and superstition. Watching religion wither on the vine would be pretty...
5 tags
I'm a tool user!
That’s right, evolution isn’t just something in the past. It’s here and now. Which way do we want to steer our descendants? Cool spaceships and brains measured in cubic meters, or underground cannibal troll-people? Maybe those aren’t the only choices, but maybe making the funny will keep me from getting eaten by the troll overlords. I’m also very high in cholesterol. Oh crap, they don’t know...