Well, maybe the Constitution will make nice hamster bedding or something…

(Source: orangeskins)

Finally admitting what the world has known for a long time:  white people make shitty food.

Finally admitting what the world has known for a long time: white people make shitty food.

One rule of sixties food “You can’t go wrong with a loaf”.

One rule of sixties food “You can’t go wrong with a loaf”.

Damn, even your ceramic cheetah thinks that looks nasty.

Damn, even your ceramic cheetah thinks that looks nasty.

Umm, guys I think that’s some kind of alien sex toy…  Probably shouldn’t put perfectly good strawberries on there…  Never mind…

Umm, guys I think that’s some kind of alien sex toy… Probably shouldn’t put perfectly good strawberries on there… Never mind…

What the FUCK?!

What the FUCK?!

Individual ashtrays!  How considerate!

Individual ashtrays! How considerate!

"Welcome back to Cooking With the Criminally Insane.  You’re just in time for this week’s challenge…"

"Welcome back to Cooking With the Criminally Insane. You’re just in time for this week’s challenge…"

The sheer effort!

The sheer effort!

The word origins of the adjective “glamorous” are quite different from the modern meaning.  The word originally meant “foul, congealed, of questionable edibility, unfit for human consumption, or greasy trap clog”.

The word origins of the adjective “glamorous” are quite different from the modern meaning. The word originally meant “foul, congealed, of questionable edibility, unfit for human consumption, or greasy trap clog”.

I think I may throw up.

I think I may throw up.

You want a garnishing suggestion?  Try a blindfold and nose plugs.

You want a garnishing suggestion? Try a blindfold and nose plugs.

This one looks okay (except for the walnuts).  But sweet greasy Jesus, who named this thing?

This one looks okay (except for the walnuts). But sweet greasy Jesus, who named this thing?

Ah man, stop it.  The damn thing’s dead, just eat it if you’re gonna!

Ah man, stop it. The damn thing’s dead, just eat it if you’re gonna!